Gaea

   My view on life can be summarized in three letters...D...T...A. Don't Trust Anybody.  I am a Scorpion.  I do things most would find 'evil.'  Am I 'evil?'  Fuck no!  I do this for the good of someone other than myself.  I do things that no one else wants to.  Cranes, Lions, Crabs, Phoenix, Unicorns, and the Dragons, all are too stupid or ignorant to do what we do.  I am good, but I do things that are so close to being 'evil' that even the good is against us.  We are so close to the line that we are blurred in between.  

Excerpt from The Way of the Scorpion: (pg.34)

    "If a lie were to save the emperor, and the truth doom him, I would ask the Lion what he might choose.
   A lie does indeed kill someone in the world, but what if it saved the Emperor?  Who would not give his life for the Song of Heaven?
   If Lord Akodo is unwilling to do so, I certainly shall take his place."

    Loyalty is what Scorpions are all about.  I am loyal to no man.  No one has shown me that I can completely trust them.  I will listen to one person and one person alone.  That person cannot be revealed, as no one who reads this deserves to know. 

   People that don't like me don't like me(not a typo and I don't give a fuck about grammar) because I'm better than them.  I can usually read them like a book, and they feel they have lossed control of something they thought they had.  They never really had it, but still...  These people are only afraid and spread rumors.  I welcome these rumors.  The more, the better.  It will amuse me, that someone is trying to ruin a name that has already been ruined.

   "People who spread rumors about someone only fear that person." - Shoju Bayushi II

   Scorpions hold insight, blackmail, and treachery.  Do not confuse Scorpions with peasants.  A peasant will go kill some people for no reason and go into hiding with 'friends.'  A Scorpion will sell cocaine to feed his 10 children and live a nice life, a short  life because of the use of his own drugs, but nice.  Never forget, a Scorpion's actions are for the good of someone else.  Everything a Scorpion does, is for a reason.  I do 'evil' things, but as Bayushi Tangen says, "Everyone lies, even me."

   All of the above really only gives more information on my Scorpion philosophies.  So here is information about me most people wouldn't know:  I am the biggest pervert in my whole school.  I have yet to meet someone who could be more perverted than I am.  I look at plenty of porn on a weekly basis.  I have seen over 5,000 hours of porn.  I have seen over 100,000 pics.  Very few things make me forget about my own crappy life.  The few things that do are: Wrestling, anime(sometimes), and porn.

   You can call me a pervert, nerd, evil, blah, blah, blah.  I'll just ignore you because you are either stating a fact, or you are thinking what I wanted you to think because you are part of one of my schemes.  In either case, I am amused at you for being my pawns.

    I am not just a regular Scorpion.  I'm a Scorpion Oni!!  My heart is non-existant.  Period.  I will be ruthless if I need to be.

   I am a person who has lost many things.  I am a loner.  If you think you can try to blackmail me, then you don't realize I have nothing to lose.  I do have friends, but I trust about two of them right now.  If they don't want to kick it with me, then I'm fine with that.  I have been a loner much, much, much longer than I have been with friends.  I don't tell any of my friends how to live their life.  I only give my friends information and free things.  I am not a type of leader and I almost never take command.  I don't want to and don't like to.

   I hate people who think they know a person just by hearing things from other people.  I didn't think these people still existed, but I found them in high school.  I couldn't believe it.  These are some of the biggest idiots I have ever known.  I don't say this much...but...My little brother, the Idiot, is a whole lot better than these people.  If you know me, you know I don't even mention the fact that I have a brother.  These people have numerous friends and think that's the way it should be for everyone.  These people are dip shits!!  To have a Scorpion as a friend is rare.  A Scorpion's loyalty to someone is unquestionable as long as you don't question it.  As said by Bayushi Yojiro, "The more you question my loyalty, the less you deserve it."

    In this society, everyone has a place.  My place is that of a nerd, computer geek, gamer, unathletic, pervert, and loner.  I know my place, and I accept it.  I'm shallow and if you don't like it, fuck you.

   Note to all the people who are dumbasses:  You know you could have had my loyalty.  You could of stayed out of my chess game, but like the other dumbasses, you now join the pool of pawns.  Manipulation, treachery, and blackmail.  You will someday regret you ever knew me...

New Stuff

Time to venture into the history of my psyche. =P

If you take a look at the results of some of the internet test I have taken on the Fun Stuff page, you can see that I am a loner type person.  That "nice guy" one baffles me...  Anyways, in my head, I have three voices.  The "man," the "romantic," and me(nerd).  I guess it's something like a sane schizo thing.  It is not my conscience and cold-bloodedness(or whatever you call the thing that urges you to do bad things).  The "man" voice mainly tells me why I should be killing someone, or blackmailing, or kicking some ass.  It also constantly reminds me of what a weak person I am when I don't do what it tells me.  The "romantic" side is always checking the worth of girls around me.  It doesn't tell me do anything.  

Back when I was still young and stupid, the "romantic" side had full control of this vessel(my body).  At that time, the 'nerd' was just meshed in the head with the "man" side and was called upon for school work only.  The "romantic" was being really friendly with the opposite sex and I got my share of being "lovey-dovey." (I hate this phrase. I also hate "happy-go-lucky."Who the fuck came up with these?) "Man" side would like to kill them...)  Then "romantic" hit a bump with school work and had to become better than average.  The 'nerd' was then put in charge of the body.  That was around 4th or 5th grade.  It was then, when I sunk into the depression that I am still in.  Before this, my mind was still 'one mind.' It is now, when the dividing of my mind starts.  The 'nerd' is separated from the, still together, 'man' and 'romantic' sides.  I get good grades and stuff, but as a loner.  Sixth grade, the 'man' finally splits and gains control.  This school year was all good until the last month.  The 'man' had it good with friends and punking a certain assclown(Y2J reference =P).  The last month, the 'man' slipped up bad.  The three minds had by now gain different voices.  They all came to a conclusion, and that was to let the 'nerd' have complete control of the body.  At this time, 'romantic' stopped ordering me to do stupid things.  The 'man' still ordered me around.  In the next two years, he would learn that he should have just yelled at me instead of ordering me around.  He learned this the hard way.  The 'romantic' became mute for 90% of the time in the next three years.

In my sophomore year of high school the 'romantic' was stirred up again.  The cause of it deciding to 'wake' up was because of me watching the anime Onegai Teacher.  It was overwhelming, and it nearly took control of the body.  I, the 'nerd', was able to keep control.  The 'romantic' wouldn't shut up about #2(#2 is a codeword for someone...) though.  I was able to shut him up real good...

And so...this is the history of my psyche up till now.  If you search through Old Entries, you can find when I started to get 'strange' and when I get back to normal.